Mediocrity

Definition of MEDIOCRE

: of moderate or low quality, value, ability, or performance: ordinary, so-so

-For those of you who dont know what Mediocre means, let alone mediocrity.

Im not really sure why i decided to start this blog. maybe i'm hoping my life will be something worth reading about. maybe i want to be the kind of person who can turn ordinary things into extraordinary things, things that inspire other kinds of people to be better. you know, not be the mediocre type that people don't really pay any attention to. I'm not guaranteeing anything here. maybe nobody will read this, or even care. but sometimes i just need to write, and throw it out there. and hope that just one stranger might care. thats all i need. and sometimes i just need to express what i feel. i like to keep things pushed down inside. i don't like to express those feelings and things. so sometimes i just need to feel. 

my life has been mediocre as of late. im not really sure why. i've lost all motivation to do anything. heck, my second semester of college was a huge flop. i got one a out of 6 of the easiest classes you could ever imagine. and thats pathetic. and i know that. 

There's this one girl on facebook who is so excited about every single day she lives. its not because she's had some kind of epiphany about life or almost died, she's just passionate about life. and that inspires ME. I want to be that kind of person that wakes up early in the mornings because she's excited about what the world has to offer of every single ordinary day. (even though everybody knows it takes a miracle to get me out of bed early) i want to be the kind of person that can see the extraordinary in a mediocre world. the sunshiny person that everyone looks to when you walk into the room.

except that im not a sunshiny person. so i guess that kinda fails. before i moved back to idaho from my home in colorado my grandmother had all the kind sensitivity that her cranky little body can hold and told me i was unfriendly and a B****. so you know, there's something to work on i guess. 

So here's a list of goals i intend to work on to become this seemingly impossible, exceptional dream person i have in my head:

-get a job (which might seem kind of duh to everybody, but chill out! i just moved here)

-wake up at  a decent time every morning

-run/exercise everyday

-read scriptures at least 5 mins/day

-do something for someone every day. just one little thing works

-start painting again. 

There's my list. and it might not work. but thats ok, it's something i can aspire to. something to look forward to, to give my life meaning again i guess. hopefully it works!